Alarm clock Fail

It has come to my attention that my mischievous left hand has somehow figured out a way to recurrently shut off my alarm whilst superseding my consciousness, all without a word about it to me.

How very rude.  I mean really, you’d think after all these years it would at least say something.

I’ve tried all sorts of things to trick myself into waking up before the damage is done, but I’m afraid I’m stumped.  Goober was helping me out for a while, poking me with his big nose 10 minutes after that rogue hand would silently shut it off without my knowledge, but he seems to be falling short of his duties of late.

I thought we had a deal, sweet boy?

And believe you me,  it really was an effective plan while in place.  When you’ve got a Great Dane’s muzzle nudging against your face first thing in the morning, the option to wake up at that point really isn’t much of an option at all, unless you enjoy being covered in doggie drool of course.

Quite the motivator if you ask me.

Goober knows this, takes advantage of this, and was (until now) quite consistent in using this to his advantage.  Perhaps he’s become progressively clever in the realization that if I miss work altogether he gets to have me home with him all the day long instead of just a little while in the morning.

Hmmm, sounds to me like Goober and my hand are in cahoots. He to vie for my company, the hand just because it likes to do rash, mischievous things of this sort.

Darn you hand.

In all reality I’m afraid I can’t blame my hand or my dog, not really. (But shhh,  don’t tell Goober that, for crying in the night).  I suppose it’s just another tiresome and inconvenient result of having anemia for six months without knowing why.  Those lab numbers just keep dropping, despite the massive amount of iron my doctor has been putting into me.

You’d think I’d be Miss Iron Man by now. Sheesh.

As I become increasingly tired, my hand and my dog have become increasingly bright it seems. Always an up-side to everything, isn’t there now?

(I will tell you one thing though- the spinach/broccoli/ kale thing is getting really very old at this point.  If I see one more green thing I’m supposed to eat I think I might lose it…….I can’t say I’m tired of the steak just yet)

Oh, I’ve been meaning to tell you, my garden is not dead

!

Can you believe it? I know, utterly shocking. Coming from the plant/flower/leaf killer,  I feel that’s quite a feat.

Actually, it has very little to do with me and everything to do with my next door neighbor Scott (you remember, the warm-hearted gnome who is just a tad bit eccentric)  If it weren’t for him my flowers and plants would be nothing but compost by now, I’m sure.

This little gem is my newest addition, a birthday gift from a kind friend who has more faith in me to keep things alive than is warranted.  I call it Jupiter because it’s rather like having a real live shining star from the night sky in my office every morning. Better than lucky charms.

Well, ok, almost.   (I think Lucky Charms secretly has lots and lots of iron.)

October trader joe’s plunder

I have a sneaking suspition that were I to further neglect sharing my recent spoils with you (and by recent I mean the past 6 months) I may forget about them altogether. This would be a tragedy indeed, first because it would potentially deprive you from tasting some random and delectable gem I’ve stumbled upon whilst on some impromptu Trader Joe’s excursion (as I find most Trader Joe’s excursions tend to be), and secondly, I do not wish to be a miser. Keeping good things all to oneself is never a good thing, and can only lead to all sorts of mischief.

Having said that, I must tell you that it’s taken me a bit of concentrated effort trying to track down my finds from the past few months. You see, I have a rather strange habit of jotting these things down on some arbitrary object nearby, thinking all the while I will most certainly remember their location later on.  Of course, they all end up in a hundred different places around my house, least of all where I might think to look.

I am such a dimwit.

One time I found I had scribbled the name of something on the side of a peanut butter jar.

Peanut butter. Seriously?

So now that you know another one of my many shortcomings, let me show you my summer- October plunder.

Sparkling blueberry juice

This stuff is so refreshing it leaves an amazing taste of blueberry pie in your mouth long after you’ve sampled it.

Olive hummus

It stands to reason that if you don’t like green olives you wouldn’t like this stuff, but after tasting it I’m really not so sure.  It’s great with lightly salted pita chips and the like. Be careful sitting down with this one, you’ll run the risk of finishing it off in one sitting if you’re not careful.

Chipmunk chocolate

Ok, I know thats not it’s real name, but thats what I call it.  I have to give credit for this one to my boss, who one day gave me a piece from the stash he keeps in his office drawer. I’m really not much of a chocolate person, but I’m sort of convinced this isn’t chocolate at all. It’s got this rich, creamy texture that reminds me very much of good espresso, mixed with little bits of toffee and salt makes it rather heavenly. Ever since then, whenever we have a hectic day in the office he’ll split one of these bars and leave a piece on my desk without a word. It always does the trick.

Honey wheat pretzels

I took a chance on this one, and it turned out to be well worth it.  I don’t normally like pretzels (unless they’re the lovely soft ones you find in new orleans square at disneyland) and I can’t even recall what possessed me to give these a try in the first place, but I’m glad I did.  They are a delightful snack with a hint of salt and sweetness.  The perfect beach/post-surft companion.

Tofu spring rolls

You’re going to have to trust me on this one, I realize that don’t appear all that appealing at first glance. But once they’re in your mouth you’ll forget all about your first impression.  Another one I tried on a fluke, I think I may have dared myself  to buy these.  Filled with mint leaves, some sort of fresh greens, carrot, rice noodles and a piece of tofu, they’re a completely clean, refreshing snack that always leaves me feeling replenished.  They come with a delicious peanut sauce on the side, I find you only need a small amount to attain complete deliciousness.

Homemade flour tortillas

My family used to make homemade tortillas back home, and I never thought I’d find the likes of them inside a store.  I was wrong. These are incredible, please try them or I’ll have to make you some and show you what you’re missing.

Apricot mango greek yogurt 

I hardly know what to say about this other than Goooood knights of columbus.  It’s one of those things you talk to as you eat it, so taken-aback with each spoonful that you have to verbally express your delight and surprise to the product itself or anyone else who happens to be in the room. Or perhaps I am the only one who does this, in which case you should still try this stuff, regardless of my possible eccentricity.

Just mango slices

Speaking of mango, these are certainly worth eating.  You know that saying ‘you want what you can’t have’?  I suppose that might apply here, as I have a slight allergy to the fruit but crave it continually.  The reaction isn’t severe or anything, and these things are well worth any slight inconvenience  they may temporarily cause.

Roasted coconut chips 

I cannot take credit for these, and to be truthful I would have never seen them had I not been told to look for them.  My friend Jenny strongly suggested I give them a shot, and though by mere description I couldn’t understand their appeal, once tasted I had great difficulty closing up the bag.  These little gems consist of roasted coconut bits soaked in young coconut milk, set with the perfect amount of sugar and salt.  Perfection, I’m telling you.  They are rather hard to find (at least that was the case in my local store), so look hard.  They’re over by the dried fruit sitting quietly in the corner, certainly overlooked by most who pass by.  After trying them I wonder if Trader Joe’s purposefully sets them down there so they don’t run out on a daily basis.

Happy TJ’s snacking(:

Oh, and if you’d like, here are a few of my past TJ’s treasure hunting reports  for your reference and personal tasting excursions:

http://charliesbend.wordpress.com/2011/07/06/crumbs/

http://charliesbend.wordpress.com/2011/01/20/treasures/

https://fairydustales.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/trader-joes-treasure-hunting-some-recent-booty/

The trouble with cappuccinos and drinking them

I never quite know how to drink a cappuccino.  I know, quite a ridiculous problem to have, but I’m afraid it’s true.

There’s something about the enchanting white foam atop the dark coffee below that begs my hand to stay, suggesting somehow that the two charms were never really meant to be muddled together in the first place.

Doing so would seem a tragedy of sorts, much like combining all the colors in a paint set so that in the end, there is no color at all.  Only a hollow, dull shade of grey that looks rather like dead air after some ghastly fire.

How dreadful.

And so I’m sort of left staring at my drink, twiddling my stirrer like some dazed nincompoop, wondering how long it takes lovely white foam to melt into coffee because I still cannot bear to disturb it.

“Quick”, I think, “drink the lovely white foam before it’s altogether consumed by the black mud below!”

Any attempt at drinking it, however, results only in the majority of it ending up on the tip of my nose or some other section of my face that contains neither taste buds nor appreciation for cappuccinos, coffee, or any sort of enchanting white anything.

There is, of course, only one thing left to do at this point.

Stir.

Stir until all the rich chocolatey brown and white loveliness disappears into one pale dusty shade of dirt brown and the beauty of the contrast is gone.

Oh, it tastes just fine in this aesthetically starved condition I suppose, but my contribution to the ruin of it’s former charm leaves me in a funk.

Sort of like how you feel after watching after watching Garden State. What is it about that movie anyway?

As you might imagine, I tend to avoid drinking cappuccinos whenever possible as a result of this ridiculous behavior of mine, or else ask the barista to stir the thing and put a lid on it before I fall prey to the cappuccino’s enchantment.